Today I have another fabulous guest blogger! I'm so excited to have Alessandra from PunkWife.com here giving us some awesome wedding advice! If you didn't know, she even wrote a book recently called The Bitch's Bridal Bible: The Must-Have, Real Deal for Brides. I'm going to be reviewing it shortly so stay tuned for that! Or just go order it for yourself...it's bound to be awesome! And now I turn it over to Alessandra.
Brides, we’ve seen it happen time and time again when it
comes to wedding planning: the friend who is upset she’s not a bridesmaid, the
mother-in-law who tries to control every detail, the third cousin twice removed
who’s pissed he’s seated all the way in the nosebleeds (what’s his name again,
anyway?). Weddings are beautiful and wonderful – the most exciting time of your
life. But let’s be serious: they also tend to conjure up the crazy in many
people. Even those around you who you would never imagine acting out suddenly
chug the kool-aid, take a running start, and swan-dive off into the deep end. And,
while it is your day, you may inevitably wind up dealing with the drama of
others, or worse – fighting with your hubby-to-be over it.
But you can prevent this from happening! In order to prepare
yourself, here is my list of the 10 crazy wedding guests you may encounter, and
tips on how to help these characters find (or help you put them in) their place
on your big day.
The Top 10 Crazy
Characters You’ll Face During Wedding Planning (and How to Deal With Them.)
1. The Control Freak. Everyone has one.
You know, the one that just needs to
be a part of something in order to “help-out” (read: completely take over a
detail of your wedding.) Instead of getting heated or wasting energy fending
her off, lean into the crazy and keep her busy instead. This will get her off
your back for a bit. Give her a job to do, such as helping with your favors.
She can be in charge of separating the silver m&m’s from the white ones. For
all two hundred goody bags. Moohoohaha.
2. The Drunk. Another common character
that will pop up during your wedding: the drunken scene-maker. Do yourself a
favor and take precaution. You know there is someone in your social circle who
knows just how to wrangle this beast. Put them on watch so they can take action
(read: stuff them in the coatroom) quickly, before a scene breaks out.
3. Creepy Uncle Eddie. Your future hubby’s
pervy uncle seems to be on a mission to make every family gathering
uncomfortable with his smoldering stares from across the table and suggestive
comments. But luckily, as the bride, you can sidestep this guy tonight since
you are the one in the white gown. As for the bridesmaids, sorry ladies –
you’re on your own with this one. Every (wo)man for herself!
4. The Overbearing Mother-in-Law.
Dun Dun Dunnnnnn… Why does it seem like
this lady knows just how to chap your ass? Similar to the control freak, deal
with her by buttering her up a bit and giving her something to feel special
about, even if you have to grit your teeth while doing so. Allow her to choose
the centerpieces, help with the menu…just SOMETHING she can be proud of. She’ll
be less likely to act out on the day you steal her son from her, you wretched
being, you.
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| My good friend Mary Beth and her bridesmaids in her beautiful (and sassy) October 2013 wedding! |
5. The Hot Mess Bridesmaid. Remember how funny
it was in college that night when she got wasted and left her shoes at the frat
house, making her late for graduation the next day? Know what’s not funny? When
she does it the day of your wedding. Just remember: she’s your bestie, you love
her, and your stress levels are running high right now. Take a deep breath.
Give her an additional reminder beforehand to prevent any mishaps (and keep her
away from the groomsmen at the rehearsal dinner.)
6. The Idea-Stealer. You found the best
deejay in town! You excitedly gush to your friend, who is also engaged, about
how you plan to meet with him Thursday night. But when you call him, he’s all
booked up – because he’s suddenly meeting with her. You innocently mention you are having a bouquet full of Charlie
Brown orchids, and whaddya know? Now she is too. Do yourself a favor: don’t share anything with her. Unless
it’s the top-secret information about how you are wearing a lime green wedding
gown and dancing into your reception room with your spouse to the Macarena, because
that has, like, totally come back in
style!
7. The Unsolicited Advice Giver. You know the one. She’ll ask how your
planning is going and, before you can get a word out, she’s firing out advice for
you on everything from entrée options to Kama Sutra positions for your wedding
night. To exit the conversation, show her to her table. In the coatroom. Then
shut the door, and back away.
8. The Wet Blanket. You know her. The one
who complains the dress is too tight, the food is too cold, and the band is too
loud. Take her for a walk and stuff her in the coatroom with #2 and #7. Those
three will keep each other busy the whole night, don’t you worry.
9. The “Forever Frat Boy.” He’ll get up
there in front of your relatives, friends, co-workers, and total strangers and lovingly
share how they met you on “tequila one-two-three night” after you danced on the
bar and licked a body shot off of him,
believe it or not, which led you to your hubby (isn’t fate awesome?). You’ll stand there in shock as you watch your wedding gown
change from white to black, right before your eyes. Prevention plan: have your hubbs
talk with him beforehand to remind him that your wedding is a family event, and
to be sure there are no discrepancies in his speech.
10. The Villainous Vendor. Your vendors are
all smiles when you write them checks and sign the contracts, but the reality
is that sometimes they flake out on the day of your wedding and venture off
course from what you agreed upon. Prevent any mishaps by researching vendors
thoroughly before booking, working off of trusted recommendations, and reading
all contracts before signing. If something is very important to you – for
instance, an emphasis on candid photos, or specific songs you want on the
playlist – make this clear to the vendor ahead of time. And don’t be afraid to follow-up,
even if you feel like it may be annoying. Remember: you are paying them.
Lastly, always remember that this is the most exciting time
of your life, and you will (hopefully) never have the chance to do it again, so
instead of putting pressure on yourself or dealing with unnecessary drama, relax
and enjoy every bit of it! Because it is going to be absolutely amazing, I promise.
Author Bio: Alessandra
Macaluso is author of "The Bitch's Bridal Bible: The
Must-Have, Real- Deal Guide for
Brides," available on Amazon and Kindle. A creator at heart, she is an
avid writer of screenplays, articles, and business/product reviews. She has
contributed to Uptown Magazine, Charlotte Magazine, and Yelp.com, among other
publications, and was featured in the New York Times “Life and Style” section
for her review of Ulta Beauty. Her original screenplay, “Polar Suburbia”,
placed as a semi-finalist in the 2009 Moondance Film Festival. To learn more
about Alessandra you can visit her blog at www.punkwife.com or visit her Google Author Profile.
What kind of people are you worried about crashing your wedding? What kind of people DID crash your wedding?
Till next time,
Catherine
If you're a fellow blogger and are interested in guest posting for this series, shoot me an e-mail at CatherinePageWood@gmail.com! Or, even if you're not a blogger and would like to share your wedding story or advice, send me an e-mail! I would LOVE to share your stories!
If you liked this post, be sure to check out the other editions of Wedding Wednesday!
